Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
