Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
