either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
