i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
