Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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