I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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