first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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