Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
