Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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