is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
