You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
