Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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