glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
