I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's rum buckets o'clock
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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