We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i think i just lost a toe
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