Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
