After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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