addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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