I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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