I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
