i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
