i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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