She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
