Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
foreskin is a definite game changer
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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