What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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