plz talk dirty to me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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