mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
