this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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