I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
