hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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