Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You smell like stripper and shame
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
