M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We left the knife in your bed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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