I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
