At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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