It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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