He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
