Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize