dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
