Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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