I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You were trust falling into bushes
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
