i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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