I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
