i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
