I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
