you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
