party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
