Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
