yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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