it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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