last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
