we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize