So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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