Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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