Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize