did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
