NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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