my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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