Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
