I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
